How To Improve Your Life As You Change

Here is a question Sensei Kirk Ellis likes to ask. Think of everything you've learned about life over the past five years. How much money would it take for you to give all of that up and go back to who you were? Almost everyone says no amount would be enough. Then he points out that five years from now, you'll probably feel the same way about the person you are today.

We are always changing, usually so gradually that we don't notice. This tape is about noticing. Sensei Ellis teaches you to become the observer, stepping back far enough to see your old self and your new self side by side, so you can guide the change instead of leaving it to chance.

The language of the body, he explains, is imagery. You can't order your heart to beat faster. But imagine sitting by a campfire in the jungle while something moves in the trees behind you, and it will. The stories we tell ourselves work the same way, and they shape both our health and our moods. He names four things worth watching closely: our stories, our desires, our self image and our expectations. A rainy day, a car we've convinced ourselves we need, a bruised ego or a flat tire can each take over our emotions if we let them.

There's a wonderful moment from his years of martial arts teaching. He builds a student's confidence and physical skill, then spends much of the training on humility and friendship, so that by the time they earn a black belt they have nothing aggressive left to defend.

He finishes with a playful exercise. Try not to think about elephants, and you'll think of nothing else. Now imagine a big box of twenty dollar bills that you're allowed to keep, and the elephants are suddenly gone. You go where your imagination goes, so give it an exciting goal.